midwestkiwi

These days I am tending to duties that have me away from home 10 days out of 30. I share this so that partners don't panic if there is a delay in rating.

I've rated everything received as of April 14.

That three is really old. I earned it during a really difficult time, and I'll own it.

I pledge to rate. I promise that if I mark sent, I sent. If something I send doesn't meet your expectations, please, please let me know.

Unless the swap calls for tuck ins, please do not send extras to get a heart, I prefer them not. The exceptions would be an "ope" or anything kiwi--except not a live one, either the bird or any celebrity! A line or two sharing a highlight from your week, a dad joke, comments on the weather or the season are my preferred extras. Likewise, if I read a profile and have something in my collection that I think will be meaningful to a partner I will include it, but I am not in the habit of collecting items for extras. I have to be really careful about hoarding tendencies.

Did you know that a group of kiwis is a tribe?

Postcards: I like mine naked and tattooed. My grands homeschool, so if there is an educational aspect (map, state facts, historical information, monument, motto, scenic byway...) they usually end up in some curriculum kits to them.

Tuck-ins (when called for as a requirement): I find lettersets, postage stamps, handmade envies, and stickers useful. I will pass along anything that I can't use.

The garden is my most happy place. I tend to concentrate on growing what I can't source fresh locally.

We feed birds. (see also: squirrels, deer, raccoons, possums...) We have a chickadee that is brave enough to eat from our hands if we are inclined to sit quietly for a time. We haven't gone so far as to capture and band it, but I am sure it is the same one. It's perfectly possible. The Leopold's documented the return of the same chickadee over multiple years.

I detest housework. and glitter. I enjoy magpie journals and collaging. I have 100+ pet dust bunnies. Tending to houseplants ensures that I enter every room in my home at least once a week.

I didn't realize that junk journals were an actual genre until I came here.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I collect (and hoard, although they are creeping into my collages) single comic panels with the subject either making only a face or a gesture, or uttering only a sound or expletive. An "ope" remains elusive but tops my list.

If you plop me down in a strange city, I'm going to make a beeline for the market.

No i-deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Remember hardware stores? The ones where you could hand the older gent* behind the counter one-half of a piece of something that you needed to fix and he'd make his way around the counter and down the aisles and show you what you needed and ask a couple of questions to ensure that was all you really needed to make the repair? Or you could drop off your perfectly good stand mixer that just needed a grease replacement and pick it up good as new the next week?

I was introduced to zetti here and have attempted my own creations and alas...not yet have I found success.

Still no i-deer.

Ampersands: I think I rescued my first one from one of those Mr. & Mrs. wedding reception centerpieces that were all the rage a few years ago. It was funny to me to display it all by its lonesome, apropos of nothing. Then it deputized a posse.

I lean towards the irreverent and enjoy a well-crafted joke, even if it's naughty. I enjoy a pun. I'm a sucker for irony. If someone managed to craft multiple dislikes into something that meets swap requirements, I'd probably ROTFL. I don't mind an F-bomb; I can curse like a soldier (don't understand how sailors earned those bragging rights).

On religion: While I am not particularly religious, I recognize the sacred in many faiths. I am more likely to attend a Blessing of the Animals than a Saturday/Sunday service. As a child, I had a secret collection of tracts. I put IOUs in the collection plate and sent my tithe to Save the Seals.

*I was a child the first time I needed a nut or bolt or oddment, so for all I know the "old gent" was 30. As a young housewife, the "old gent" was most certainly ancient and kindly, and cemented in my mind the picture of the hardware store proprietor, before hardware store proprietors went away.

blah blah blah. This is a placeholder box while I update my profile. I do wish we could just insert a section, mid-page.

If not, you can skip it and still learn a lot about me elsewhere. I find them efficient and tiresome by turns, so tally me uncommitted. (I skipped the ones that I couldn't think of a word or phrase for ¯_(ツ)_/¯ )

Likes:

A - Ampersands
B - Books. Botanical Prints. Bats. Bees.
C - Chickadees
D - Dad jokes. (Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad. Glad to meet you!)
F - Food. Regional food, street food, seasonal food, carnival food.
G - I celebrate groundhog day, but groundhogs need to live their own lives away from me
H - Hardware stores.
K - Kiwi anything. But nothing I have to keep alive. So, almost anything kiwi.
M - Murmurations.
P - Poppies.
S - Strawberries.
Z - Zines, Zentagles, Zetti.

Dislikes:
A - Acronyms. WTF is LOL and SYL? What happened to "roger", "over", "out"?!
C - "Conflate" used aloud; it is a written word, like, "Exclaim." Cricut cut signage.
G - Glitter. I'm not going to rate you down for a glittered note card, but it really is wasted on me. The dust bunnies try to eat it, and it's not good for them.
H - HOUSEWORK. Dislike is not a strong enough word. Detest? Loathe? Ugh.
M - Mosquitoes. I've asked around. No one can justify mosquitoes. (Except the scientists from Turo)
P - Pineapple. The fruit. To eat. I'm fine with smiley pineapple stickers
R - Religious, overtly. Although I will accept a tract and do something completely inappropriate with it.

So you don't lose your mind thinking, "I swear she said she loved X and now it's not listed on her profile." And because it's confusing to me when profiles offer contradictory timelines and my brain does not compute. Example. "We welcomed our first grandchild last month, and we are in love!" and in the same profile "I have 6 grandchildren."

This profile updated on April 2, 2025.

I am typically open to a private swap if you don't meet the requirements of a swap I am hosting. Message me. I am often open to a private international swap for a USA only swap that aligns with my interests. Message me.

Someone sent me a notecard that was a most lovely "Year of the Snake" theme, and I remember when I rated, I indicated that it would probably go to my grandson because snakes are his thing right now and he's been so excited about Year of the Snake! Anyhoo... he did not get it because I fell in love with it, and now it is the bookmark in my diary. But I'd stripped it of all identifying marks and can't remember who sent it. So, thank you!!! I'd be so pleased if you would message me if it was you.